Saturday, December 27, 2014

Grace Remington... Finally

I am finally getting around to posting about Grace's birth.

Okay so I will start a little before labor began. Even as far back as the moment I found out I was pregnant with our 4th baby, I had pangs of fear. Not so much fear of having a fourth child to care for, or that anything would go wrong. But fear of labor itself. Labor is not walk in the park, and my labor with Dakota (#3) was the hardest I had endured thus far. I tried not to think about having to labor, but sometimes I would. I knew it was not something I could skip. It had to happen. I  prayed a lot. I have always intended to have a Bible verse for each pregnancy and labor, but haven't every time. This time I really purposed to, but didn't get out my Bible and start looking as I should have. God gave me one anyway.

It started when the verse came to mind. It is a pretty well known verse. Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and he will direct your path.

Then later the same day I saw someone post on Facebook the very same verse. Then again the next day, someone else. I knew this was the verse God was giving me to meditate on. In addition to this I prayed for wisdom to do everything I could physically to make labor easier. I always try to eat pretty healthy, so I continued with that. I also worked out. 5 to 6 days a week most weeks. A minimum of 3 days a week, but that was rare, it was usually more. I practiced relaxing. A lot. I found out that keeping your jaw clenched can have a big effect on how well you dilate. I clench my jaw a lot, so I really practiced relaxing that.

As the end of pregnancy drew closer, I made sure to drink my red raspberry leaf tea. I took a gentle birth tincture. I used evening primrose oil. I prayed some more.

Still, as labor drew closer, I was SO fearful. I secretly thought to myself, but never once spoke it aloud, that if this labor was as hard as Dakota's, I was going to try my hardest to not have any more children. Which would be hard anyway, as I don't really know of any birth control I am okay with. I was so scared that I started having panic attacks. I had a few weeks of practice contractions. They made me somewhat fearful that they would turn to real labor, and somewhat fearful that they would go away, and I would have longer to think about labor instead of just getting it over with.

My due date was on Mother's Day, the 11th of May. I assumed I would be pregnant at least that long, if not longer, because two of my babies had been overdue.

On the evening of May 6th I was having contractions again. They were strong enough to make me think it may be early labor, but certainly were not painful. I just practiced relaxing through them, and went to bed. They woke me us several times that night, but I just relaxed my body through them and went back to sleep. It still didn't hurt. (I am going to guess at time frame right now, I have it written down, but am not sure where the notebook is right now) About 5am on the 7th I started having to lift up and sway my hips with each contraction. But it still was not painful. At all. But I knew it was early real labor, and I would probably have the baby by the end of the day. The awesome thing here is that after all my fear leading up to labor, I was calm. Completely. I was not scared AT ALL. About 5:45 I got up and went to the living room and sat on my birth ball. I sat and stared out the window at the stars. I talked to the baby and I talked to God.

Around 6 or 6:30 I woke Stephen up and told him I was in labor. He was supposed to work that day and I knew he would need to call his boss and let him know he wouldn't be coming in. I called my sister in law, Paula and asked her at what point in labor she called our midwife, because I was thinking it was still a little early. We talked for a minute and she said she would be on her way as soon as she got the little girl she babysat for the day. I had a few more contractions and asked Stephen to set up the birth pool. He was already arranging the room so it would fit.I was now moaning through the contractions some. But as I told Stephen, it wasn't as bad as it sounded. It just helped to make a little noise. I decided to go ahead and call my midwife. I told her I was in labor and that I would let her know if she needed to head this way. At around 7am I texted my Mom's phone and told her, "I think I am in early labor!" Stephen was still working on getting the birth pool ready, so I decided to get in the bathtub, as the contractions were starting to get a bit intense. Still very tolerable, but I wanted to sit in the water. I could hear Stephen as he got kids up and sent them next door to his Mom, so she could feed them breakfast. I heard him talking to his brother through the window as they got the hoses stretched over to his parent's house so we could use the water from their tankless waterheater.

The contractions were starting to get painful so I called Kelly back and asked her to go ahead and come my way. Almost as soon as I called her I starting having a pretty painful contraction. Stephen heard me and left the pool to come be with me. I was sitting on the potty at that moment and he came and sat in front of me on a stepstool. As I moaned he asked me what my labor verse was. I couldn't tell him in the midst of the contraction, but it brought it to mind for me. After that contraction I got back in the tub. After one or two more contractions I told Stephen it almost felt like I needed to push, but I didn't want to, because I had barely been in labor. I asked him to get his Mom since Kelly wasn't there. I am not sure what I wanted her to do, but I wanted a female. He sent his brother who was working outside to get the hoses ready to get their Mom.

I asked him to call Kelly and see where she was as another contraction started. I heard him say she was going through the town closest to us, about 12 miles away. As he hung up I felt bulging 'down there'. I put my hand on it and felt my water break. Stephen did not realize this, as I was in a tub full of water. With the next contraction I knew my body was pushing, but I was still afraid it wasn't time. Then I felt the head coming out. I told Stephen "I AM PUSHING!!" Since I had just told him moments before I did not think it was time to push he told me not to push yet. I said "The HEAD IS COMING OUT!!" and started pushing for the first time, though my body had been before that, now I was joining the effort. He said,  "Oh, Ok. Well lets do this then!" The head came all the way out with that one push. Lots of hair, and the baby must have turned because last I knew it was in a posterior position, but it wasn't anymore. With the next contraction I pushed her the rest of the way out. Stephen grabbed her up out of the tub and handed her to me.  It was 8:10.

We looked and saw that she was a girl, and laughed. We did not have ANY girl names picked. We are really bad at agreeing on girl names. A few minutes later Stephen's mom came in. She hadn't come over in a hurry, because like us, she though I was in early labor. Knowing the fear I had been battling, and hearing how quick and easy labor was she asked if she could suggest a name. She said, "Grace". I kind of shrugged, but didn't really think we would use it. I liked the name, but it wasn't my top choice.

Kelly came in a few minutes later and helped with the delivery of the placenta and all that.They got me moved to my bed and went bustling about, doing all the awesome things they do after a birth. I sat on the bed and looked at my sweet new baby and was singing to myself, "Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus..." Then I got to the part where it says "Oh for Grace to trust Him more". I thought "Grace to trust Him more...hmmm, God are you trying to tell me something?"

I asked Stephen what he thought of naming her Grace. He shrugged like I did when his Mom suggested it. So I took that as a probably not. My Mom had been at work while I was laboring, so when she got home she called me. I told her about the labor, but not about Nola suggesting a name, or me singing. She told me that on her way to work that morning she had been praying for me and had thought to herself "If they have a girl, Grace would be a good name". When she said that I KNEW God was telling me our baby's name. I told Stephen and he agreed.

Anywho, there is the story of Grace Remington's birth and naming.

Grace, Kimber and I. Kimber had wanted to be there for the birth, but it went so fast that she did not get to.
I will endeavor to post more often!


Sunday, May 18, 2014

Perspective

"Ugh, God, when will we get a 'real' house? What else can I get rid of in our house to make it less cluttered... Maybe even actually clean looking?  Where do I even put the baby clothes so they aren't in a basket on my floor?" These and similar thoughts go through my head as I scroll through pinterest for ideas, and real estate websites to see if anything new has popped up in the past hour.... Even though nothing has for a month.
Then I get a text from a good friend asking for prayer, she just had a miscarriage. "Oh no, God. Not again. They have already been through so much. Why can't she just keep this baby? You know how badly they want one!" 
And I look at my not even two week old, perfect, fourth child in my lap. And realize that it doesn't matter the size of our house. Or how clean it isn't. I don't know why I have been given these sweet babies, while she has lost so many. I know I am not any better or more loved by God. It makes me feel guilty sometimes, though I know she doesn't want me to feel that way. Words seem so inadequate to help her. 
I try to keep a positive attitude and count my blessing, and think I mostly do a good job, but sometimes get in sorry for myself moods... But then it all gets put back in perspective. 

I had intended to post about having a new baby in the house. :) I will try to do that soon.

Be blessed.