Sunday, May 23, 2010

Wisdom....I hope

A few minutes ago I was over at my house fixing some chicken spaghetti for a homebirth party we will be going to in a little bit. As I was scurrying around the kitchen I see my 13 year old brother in law coming over escorting Tyrel. I asked what they were doing since everyone else was hanging out over at Granola's.

MJ told me that Tyrel had pooped in his underwear. I immediately felt myself giving way to being mad. Not at Tyrel, but at Stephen. I have to deal with this day in and day out all the time. And yet, when everyone is over visiting at Granola's and I'm already missing out on that, he sends him to me to deal with it, rather than dealing with it himself.

I grabbed Tyrel's arm and dragged him to the bathroom to deal with his mess. All the time seething at how inconsiderate, lazy and mean my husband was being. Now this is NOT my normal attitude. I adore my sweet husband. In our almost 5 years of marriage we have almost never had an argument and when we do they are short lived.

I finished dealing with Tyrel, sat him down in the rocker to think about NOT doing that again any time soon. He is nearly 3 and should NOT still be doing that.

I went back to fixing lunch, but this time with a dark cloud hanging over me. Telling myself all the things Stephen does wrong. Getting more mad as the time passed. Then I thought to myself. Great, I want to introduce Stephen to my friends I met at retreat today, and we're going to be mad at each other. Because I had every intention of telling him everything that was running through my head. Then I thought, Wait a second, we haven't fought. He doesn't even know I'm mad. What if I got happy, and never made a fight of it? Why does the day have to turn out bad? So I prayed and asked God to help me change my attitude. Not fake change it, but really get happy. Because really what is one more change of pants in the grand scheme of things. Within moments I was chatting happily with Tyrel, not upset at all.

Now here I sit with the spaghetti in the oven, waiting to leave. And so glad I didn't choose to ruin this day.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for giving me something to think about.

Donna said...

That is so beautiful! I'm so proud of you!! Countrymama told me to come read this because I just did a post about this very subject on my homemaking blog this morning!

It's called, "Why We Should Smile More at our Hubbies." I'd love to share this with my readers! Would you mind?

Donna said...

Becky, I copied the whole thing and added it to the end of my article! It is a beautiful example of responding correctly to our hubbies!


PS. I adore your blog! You would fit right in at our house. How many weapons do we have...let me count them..1, 2, 3,4,5..?

Yes, It was Created to Be His Helpmeet that I was quoting, but some people react so badly to anything with a Pearl in it that I mentioned it only at the very end. :o)

Julie said...

i love it, great job girl


WesternWoodburner said...

Ah, yes, it is a lesson I’m trying to learn. “Alter your life by altering your attitude.”

De'Etta @ Choosing Joy said...

I love it when the Holy Spirit breaks into our attitude. Yes, I do think wisdom.

Nichola said...

=) Good job! A very good word to all of us wives how adore their wonderful husbands who miss stuff a lot. =D (or, in our perception they miss things. We don't really know what is going on in their heads, right?)

Oh, on the pooping in the pants, I have a good tip on that one. Don't scold. Get out your most compassionate tone, put on a sad, "oh-you -poor-dear" smile and take him to the shower or the garden hose. Don't make it comfortable, and kindly, sympathetically let him know that we have to do it this way now since he is so big, it just won't work right any other way. Don't warm the shower water before it hits him, or make sure it is good and cold when it comes out of the hose. =) Clean him up and help him get his new stuff on, assuring him that you are sorry it was rough, but next time you'll be on hand to help him out again. After about 3-5 sessions like that, most will get to the pot. I think making sure he doesn't feel punished is key. Then there is not any of that to deal with, just a new new fact of life that he has to get through. =)